Американки, оцените плиз перевод на англ.

Девочки из штатов, прошу вашей помощи. Оцените пожалуйста перевод на английский язык. Чтобы американцам, читающим этот текст, слова не резали взгляд... Ну чтоб не было коверкано вроде "Мы тьебя будем немножко вьешать"... Нашли мы переводчика на английский, а качество перевода вызывает некоторые сомнения. Вот хотелось бы узнать ваше мнение о тексте - звучит ли он по-американски? Не вымучен ли? Применяют ли носители языка те или иные обороты? С благодарностью примем все замечания. Интересуют как общее впечатление так и конкретные замечания. Могу предложить призы (то, о чем говорится в тексте :). А может быть среди вас кто-то англоязычнограмотный согласится на подработку корректором-редактором сайта? Текст ниже, если весь не вместится, продолжение выложу. Спасибо за внимание и помощь. . Project Description Would you like flying to outer space? It’s difficult. Would you like to send your photo to space? No problem! Would you like to be listed in the Guinness Book of World Records? Let’s try. Welcome to the international project «PhotoGlobeSat». People of the world send their photographs and they make up the image of the Earth (the photo or the map, thus the inhabitants of the planet create its "portrait". We – the people of the Earth – are a part of it. The project suggests making up a 3-dimensional Earth’s portrait using of your photographs, the photographs of inhabitants of the Earth – the huge spherical photomosaic map representing our beautiful planet. Our photomosaic globe with your photographs is launched into outer space in 2007 and becoming a satellite of the Earth. The satellite will be observed with the naked eye, and all participants of the project who have sent their photographs will receive the information in order to observe the satellite in the place of the planet where they are living. 1. What are we doing? We are launching the satellite to space. The satellite is a huge inflatable sphere representing the image of our planet (the globe) made up of your photographs. The image will be put together using the photomosaic method. You can see what the photomosaic map is and how it looks on top of the page – simply try to zoom and move the image of the map with the help of arrow buttons or directly by the mouse over the map. Is it possible to construct the satellite? Won’t it burst in space? Two inflatable satellites were launched as long ago as 1960 and 1964 (etc., etc.)) How shall we insert our satellite into orbit? Outer space today is not only «high science» and «star wars», but even tourists have appeared in space! The satellites are launched by not only state organizations and large corporations. For example, the interesting micro-satellite program CubeSat … has been carried out lately. In short, launching a "private" satellite isn’t a problem any longer! Is it possible to launch the tightly scheduled satellite? In fact it is necessary to plan launching before more than a year or two. The advantages of the project are the small weight of the satellite and its small sizes in stowed position. It enables us to use the planned starts for launching, because a lifting capability of a launch vehicle can be hardly used for 100%. Due to such an approach we have already had some launch offers for the spring of 2007. PhotoGlobeSat satellite details Подробности по спутнику The satellite will represent a sphere being made of thin mylar film. The sphere diameter is from 6 up to 25 meters (or 20  82 foot) depending on the number of the participants. Every photo placed (printed) on the surface of the satellite will have the sizes – also depending on the number of the project participants – from 8х8 up to 12х12 centimeters (from 3х3 up to 5х5 inches). At the moment detachment from the launch vehicle the container with the stowed sphere opens and the sphere is inflated automatically. The design is simple enough and consequently reliable. Such a design was successfully realized twice in American satellites Echo-1 and Echo-2, launched in 1960 and 1964 .The satellites had the diameters of 30 and 40 meters respectively. We are going to use the very constructive decisions. The more people will take part in the project, the larger PhotoGlobeSat satellite will be, the brighter it will shine in the night sky, the easier it will be to watch its flying, and the more interesting it will be to observe it through a telescope. The height of the satellite orbit will be from 400 up to 800 km above the Earth, and the orbit inclination will not be less than 50 degrees (the orbit parameters will be defined more exactly); it means that the satellite can be observed from the whole populated territory of the Earth (except the polar areas). 2. What will you give the project and what will the project give to you? 2.1. Photographs sent by you are placed on the photomosaic map. The map is updated three times a week. If necessary, all the sent photographs are processed preliminary by our designers. At the authorization on the site you receive coordinates of your photo by which you can find yourself among other faces placed on the photomosaic map. You can send these coordinates to your friends and they can see you on the photomosaic map of our site too. 2.2. At the launch preparation stage (from June, 2006 till June, 2007) all open information of the project will be available on our site. 2.3. Drawing for prizes. We are going to raffle off prizes regularly (etc., etc.) … 2.4. After launching in 2007 you‘ll be able to observe PhotoGlobeSat satellite flying above the Earth surface at the height within the limits of 400-800 km. The satellite will represent a huge globe of our Earth made of your photographs. The satellite will be seen with the naked eye as a moving star in the star sky. The more participants of the project, the larger the satellite sizes will be, the brighter the satellite will be in the night sky, the easier to watch its flying will be. Astronomers-amateurs will be able to observe it through binoculars and telescopes, and the rest will be able to admire the satellite with the naked eye – in fact the brighter it will be, the less the city illumination will prevent your observations. The outlines [delineation] of terrestrial continents (made up of your photographs!) represented on PhotoGlobeSat satellite will be able to observe through large professional telescopes. We’ll try to receive such photographs from the largest observatories of the world and they will be placed on our site for a general review. 2.5. You’ll receive the data on the satellite both from us, and from official registers. Operating with these data, you can find out what time is optimum for observation of the satellite in your region, what moment it will appear above you, from what quarter it will appear, where it will fly to, what height above the horizon it will be in every second. It will help you not to confuse PhotoGlobeSat with any other satellite. There are computer programs for visualization of the satellite motion in real time, and we shall supply you with one of them and teach you to use. After launching we shall place the on-line satellite schedule along its orbit on our site. You can watch such motion trajectories in TV reports from mission control centers. 2.6. All participants of the project get to space and into the Guinness Book of World Records due to their photographs. Certificates apropos of these will be sent to the participants of the project as soon as the corresponding events happen. Guinness – What are the criteria for being listed in the Guinness Book of World Records? Probable nominations (not guaranteed): - the biggest photomosaic map, - the biggest photomosaics in three-dimensional execution, - the pioneering satellite representing the Earth, - the maximum number of photographs sent to outer space simultaneously. A lot of some other nominations can be surely thought out, but the decision will be made by the administration of the Guinness Book of World Records. 3. How does it work? We execute all the actions necessary for successful completion of the project. In particular, the following actions: - making the contract with a space agency for launching the satellite (preliminary agreements are already reached) - placing orders for development of PhotoGlobeSat satellite, verification of the development, - placing orders for manufacturing the satellite, verification of manufacturing, - managing the ground tests of the satellite, - verification of final assembly and preflight mounting of PhotoGlobeSat satellite, - organizing the satellite launch into the orbit, - monitoring the satellite flight, placing all the accessible information on the site, - issuing and dispatching the certificates to the participants of PhotoGlobeSat project, For the participation in the project it is necessary: - to be registered on the site, - to pay the necessary sum at present prices, - to send us your photo by e-mail (or some photographs – according to the paid sum). We check your photo. Then, the most suitable place for the photo is selected and it is placed in the photomosaic map with the help of a special program. We update the photomosaics of our site three times a week. … At the next authorization on the site (not later than in two days after your photographs arriving) you’ll receive the coordinates of your photo with the help of which you’ll be able to find yourself among other faces placed on the photomosaic map. You’ll be able to send these coordinates to your friends, and they will be able to see you on the huge photomosaic map of our site. Photographs will be accepted till the spring of 2007 then the ensued photomosaic map will be applied over the satellite coating. The on-line version of the photomosaic map will be available for viewing for the whole life cycle of PhotoGlobeSat satellite. Photo and video materials connected with the process of manufacturing, testing and launching the satellite will be issued on the site. After launching the on-line schedule of the satellite along the orbit will be placed on the site. You can download the satellite tracking program to your computer and find out the most convenient time to observe the satellite in your area. Confidentiality. We do not divulge private information which you have sent to us. 4. When: Periods of execution of the project stages The initial development of the satellite – April - May, 2006. The estimation of mass-dimensioning specifications. The beginning of registration of PhotoGlobeSat project participants – June, 2006. The development of the satellite – September, 2006. One of the design offices specializing on space technical equipment will develop the satellite. The manufacturing (beginning) – November, 2006. Launch option – November, 2006. Now some preliminary agreements with one of the structures carrying international launches have already been reached (at a level of the protocol of intentions). The negotiations are carried on with two other organizations [agencies]. The ground verification tests of the satellite – February - March, 2007. The launch – the summer of 2007.

Пробежала глазами, всё нет сил и времени вычитывать, но есть моменты, которые нужно исправлять. (с транслита)

The project suggests making up a 3-dimensional Earth’s portrait using of your photographs Vot naprimer, pervoe, chto brosilos' v glaza- posle USING OF ne nuzhno stavit', ochen' rezhet sluh i vzglyad ;-)

Я посмотрела начальную часть текста. Написано, в принципе, неплохо, но я бы кое-что изменила. Если изменения Вас устраивают, дайте мне знать здесь на форуме и я могу помочь с остальным текстом и, возможно, с курированием сайта :) ==start review Project Description Would you like an opportunity to travel to outer space? This can be problematic. Would you like an opportunity to send your photo to space? No problem! Would you like to be listed in the Guinness Book of World Records? Let’s try. Welcome to «PhotoGlobeSat», an international project. People all around the world send their photographs, and these photographs are subsequently used to construct an image of the Earth. The image represents a photographic map of the Earth, thus providing the inhabitants of the planet with an opportunity to create a "portrait" of the Earth in outer space. We – the people of the Earth – are an integral part of this exciting project . The objective of the project is creation of a 3-dimensional Earth’s portrait using your photographs. The photographs submitted by inhabitants of the Earth will contribute to a large spherical photomosaic map representing our beautiful planet. Our photomosaic globe with your photographs is scheduled to/will be launched into outer space in 2007 and will become a satellite of the Earth. The satellite will be detectable with a naked eye, and all participants of the project who contribute their photographs will receive information on how to locate the satellite from their geographical location. ==end review

Ваш перевод лучше изначального, но я бы поработала над грамматикoй. This can be problematic-It could be problematic. to outer space-into outer space ("to" применимо к земным расстояниам, а в данном случае с космосом используется "into") We, the people of the Earth, are an integral part of this exciting project.(вместо тире запятая)

Правильно развили мою мысль, спасибо :) (с транслита)

Вымучено. Старались, но чувствуется отсутствие навыков разговорного английского.